I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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