I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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