There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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