I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
