If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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