Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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