im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
