today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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