So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
