If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
