I just pynch a tree in the face
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
