So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
