I think i peed on brittanys purse
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
