As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
