i just google imaged poop.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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