just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
