i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
