Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Welp...herpes.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
