god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I skipped work to stalk him.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize