i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
