i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
