I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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