how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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