Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
