Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
