You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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