Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
When are your genitals available?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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