super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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