i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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