What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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