Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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