Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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