I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
