Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
