Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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