You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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