is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
