I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
