remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
