I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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