Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
