i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Randomize
