Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
True strength comes from lack of pants
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
