OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
