My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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