Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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