Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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