He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
