Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
