is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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