I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
