matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
