Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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