How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
