Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
